How to Find the Right Speaker for Your Ceremony: 5 Questions You Should Ask

Choosing the right speaker often decides how personal and touching a ceremony becomes – whether it’s a wedding, a naming ceremony, or a funeral. Here’s what you should look out for to ensure the perfect fit.

1. Is There a Connection?

First and foremost: there must be a connection. In a short initial meeting – either online or in person, depending on the situation – you’ll get a feel for whether you’re on the same wavelength. I usually recommend taking a few days afterwards to reflect. After all, we’ll be discussing very personal topics like your love story, your hopes, or memories of a loved one. Without a genuine connection, collaboration can feel difficult – and that shows in the ceremony.

Tip: Trust your instincts. A good sign is when the conversation flows easily and there’s room for a smile or even a little laughter.

2. Do the Speaker’s Values Match Yours?

I am a humanist speaker.This means I design ceremonies without religious content. I deeply respect faith and spirituality, but I do not incorporate prayers or religious references into my speeches.If you’re seeking a religiously centered ceremony, I might not be the right choice. For an authentic, personal ceremony, I only speak words I truly stand behind.

Tip: Ask your speaker early on about their approach to religious or spiritual elements.

3. How Does the Collaboration Work?

A good speaker will guide you through the entire process. For me, it all starts with a short introductory meeting – either online or in person, depending on what suits you best. Then we’ll have one or two in-depth conversations to set the framework and work through your story or the life of the deceased.

For weddings and naming ceremonies, many ideas come up naturally during our conversations – spontaneity often makes the ceremony more lively. Preparation on your part is welcome, but not mandatory. For naming ceremonies, it’s helpful if you think of a possible theme (for example, a favourite children's book, a rainbow, or the tree of life). For funerals, the preparation is a little different: I’ll guide you through a set of questions and ask for a brief biography of the deceased.

Tip: Be open and don’t hesitate to share your ideas and wishes.

4. Are There Clear Boundaries?

Yes.

I will never "judge" a deceased person or deliver a verdict on their life. Difficult traits or complex relationships can be addressed respectfully but always without judgment. And: if I feel I cannot meet your expectations – for example, if strong religious elements are required – I would rather decline the assignment than deliver something half-hearted.

Tip: Set clear expectations early on. A speaker who is willing to say "no" has your best interests at heart.

5. What Makes for Great Collaboration?

My "golden tip" for a successful ceremony is honest and timely communication.Only through open communication can we create a ceremony that truly reflects you.And: humor always helps! Even in difficult moments, a smile can offer comfort and lightness.

Tip: Be open and honest about what is important to you – it will make your ceremony truly unique.

Conclusion: Finding the right speaker isn’t magic – it’s about chemistry, shared values, and open communication.If you’d like to learn more about me and my work, feel free to browse my homepage or contact me for a non-binding conversation.