Humanist weddings in Switzerland - A farewell without the church

Families today are more diverse than ever before: religious, secular, atheist, spiritual.More and more people consciously choose not to belong to a religious community – and when a loved one dies, they are suddenly faced with the question: Who will deliver the farewell speech?

Many don't realize that a church funeral is often no longer possible in such cases. In times of grief, families often quickly seek a solution – sometimes provided by the funeral director.But a free, humanist funeral is much more than a few read-out life stations. It is personal, individual, honest – and creates space for genuine memories.

Some people want no connection to religion because they never had one. Others were excluded by religious communities during their lifetime and want to avoid any hint of hypocrisy in death. The reasons for choosing a free funeral are diverse – but the wish is the same: to create a true and personal farewell.

How does a free funeral differ from a church funeral?

Free memorial services have no fixed framework.They are usually more personal than traditional ceremonies. I take the time to get to know you: What made the deceased special? What were their beautiful – and sometimes difficult – sides?

There are no standard texts, no prefabricated passages. You decide: a poem, music, perhaps the story of their life instead of a list of dates?Would you like to speak yourself? Or would you prefer my support?

We are free – free from dogma, free from rigid rituals.

And if it all feels too overwhelming: I will gently guide you and offer focused suggestions.

How does comfort work at a humanist funeral?

For humanists, life ends with death. We do not comfort with promises of an afterlife – but with what truly remains: the memories of a life lived.

The goal is to keep the person alive in our hearts: The way they smiled. Their gestures, humor, advice in difficult times. These memories carry us – they give strength, support, and warmth, even when the loved one is no longer physically present.

Comfort arises in a humanist farewell ceremony through shared remembrance, honest acknowledgment of grief, and the courage to move forward – not alone, but supported by the love of the community. It is not the promise of reunion that brings comfort, but the knowledge that a life has left lasting traces.

What happens at a humanist funeral?

There is no fixed order. However, most free ceremonies follow a gentle structure:

• Welcome

• Life reflection

• Music or rituals

• Shared memories

• Words of comfort

Everything is developed in consultation with you. And if you feel overwhelmed, I will gently lead you through the possibilities.

Beautiful rituals for non-religious farewells

Rituals can provide support – even without religion.

Some examples:

• Water burial: Incorporating nature into the farewell.

• Fire and writing: Writing down thoughts, then burning them – especially helpful for children.

• Candle rituals: Light as a symbol of remembrance and letting go

  
  

Scattering ashes in Switzerland – What you should know

In Switzerland, there is no general obligation to bury cremation ashes in a cemetery. Scattering ashes in nature is permitted under certain conditions:

• Forests: Ashes can often be scattered in a hole at least 30 cm deep, keeping a distance from paths and clearings. Permission from the forest owner is usually required.

• Bodies of water: In many cantons (e.g., Thurgau, St. Gallen), scattering ashes in lakes or rivers is prohibited for environmental reasons. In the Canton of Zurich, however, it is permitted under specific conditions.

• Aerial scattering: Scattering ashes from an airplane or balloon is generally allowed but requires special permission.

Important: Always check with the relevant authorities before scattering ashes and obtain the necessary permits.

Common questions from families

Many families feel completely overwhelmed at the time of farewell.

The most common questions include:

• What exactly is a free funeral?

• How much does it cost?

• How do we deal with the fact that the deceased was difficult?

• What if it was a case of suicide?

I discuss with you gently what should and can be part of the farewell speech.

How do we deal with difficult life stories?

Some life stories are not easy .Maybe the deceased was not always kind, sometimes difficult, maybe even hurtful. Relatives often ask: What should – and can – be said in a funeral speech?

My goal is always to create a farewell that is honest and respectful – without being vindictive. A funeral is not the place for accusations. Instead, we work together to find ways to address difficult aspects in a dignified and sensitive manner – or to deliberately leave them in the background if that feels right for you.

Uncertainties and fears – That’s normal

Families today are colorful and diverse .A free ceremony creates a space that welcomes everyone – because it offers comfort through memories, not through religious doctrines. A humanist form of comfort can reach everyone – while religious comfort often only reaches the faithful.

What I would like to tell you

Talk to your loved ones about your wishes while you are still alive. It is much easier once the topic has been brought up.

You are free to choose what you want – even when it comes to your farewell.

Is a free funeral right for you?

Often there is little time for big decisions when death occurs. Think carefully: Would you prefer a standardized church funeral – or a personal celebration of life? Free speakers have more room to create – and that often makes all the difference.