Why Choose a Humanist Wedding Ceremony? – Between Civil, Church, and the Desire for Something More

More and more couples today are consciously choosing not to have a church wedding – but at the same time, they want more than “just” the civil ceremony. In recent years, humanist (or "free") wedding ceremonies have gained enormous popularity. But why? What makes them so special – and who are they perfect for?

Isn’t the civil ceremony enough?

For some couples, a civil wedding might be all they need – legally, it’s the only official step. But let’s be honest: emotionally, it often falls flat.

My own experience was quite disappointing. We had asked for the ceremony to be held in High German, out of respect for our German relatives. Still, the registrar chose to recite a long poem in Swiss German. Our wishes were barely acknowledged.

But a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime moment. And many couples want it to mean more than just signing a document. A humanist ceremony offers the space to celebrate exactly that – the “more” that makes your love story unique.

Church weddings? Not for everyone.

While some find meaning in religious traditions, many couples no longer feel connected to the church. Some come from mixed faith backgrounds, others have left religion altogether – and for many, church doctrine no longer fits with their values or identity.

Same-sex or polyamorous couples may even be excluded from religious ceremonies. A humanist wedding, on the other hand, celebrates love in all its forms, without judgment or limitation. It’s not about tradition – it’s about you.

What makes a humanist ceremony so special?

Whether by a lake, in the forest, on a mountaintop or in your own garden – a humanist ceremony can take place almost anywhere. You’re not bound by church walls or legal offices. You dream of exchanging rings underwater? As a certified Master Diver, I’ll meet you in Lake Zurich. Want a Lord of the Rings themed ceremony? Why not!

At the heart of it all is your personal love story – told through a custom-written, heartfelt speech. I take the time to get to know you, with several conversations (sometimes even separately), and I listen closely. Along the way, I often learn wonderful little details – the kind that make people smile, think, or feel deeply connected. Those are the moments I bring into your ceremony.

And don’t worry – I don’t believe in dragging out awkward stories or embarrassing anecdotes. This is your moment. Your love deserves respect, depth and lightness.

Celebrating family – with your children too

Another beautiful part of humanist ceremonies: you can include your children. Especially in patchwork families, a wedding often marks the beginning of something bigger – a new family. At the registry office, children are rarely involved. But in a humanist ceremony, they can play a meaningful role, whether symbolic or active – and feel truly included in this new chapter.

Who is a humanist ceremony for?

A humanist wedding is ideal for couples who:

• don’t belong to any religion or don’t feel represented by the church,

• come from different faith backgrounds,

• are in same-sex or polyamorous relationships,

• want to include their children in the ceremony,

• are getting married for the second time and want to do things differently,

• are looking for a personal, meaningful alternative to the civil ceremony.

  
  

Still unsure? Let’s talk.

Maybe you’re still wondering: Is a humanist ceremony really for us?

Just get in touch. We can talk about what you’re hoping for, and I’ll help you explore the options. Maybe you just want a personal speech. Maybe you’d like to include a symbolic ritual or make space for your own ideas. I’m here to support you – and you can decide if this path feels right.